It’s that time of year when Hallmark and lifetime movies reign. I will admit that I can happily sit through the same story line over and over when it has Christmas lights and snow in it. The holiday movies are so cookie cutter, that they even repeat the same phrases. In almost every movie, I can count down the minutes until a supporting character sincerely tells the main character, “I just want you to be happy.” This is the greatest gesture of love they can offer the protagonist- a conscious setting aside of their own expectations for the hero to have the freedom to live out their dream. 

I get completely sucked in every time. Our entire culture is built around the pursuit of happiness. It is one of our highest values as a society. But is it really an act of love to tell someone that we just want them to be happy? 

I think about my girls who are one and three. I would never, ever say these words to them. Why? Is it because I don’t want them to be happy? No! It’s because I don’t trust their limited judgement of what will result in happiness. Sure they want to eat candy for breakfast, but I know it will result in a sugar crash of epic proportions. Of course going swimming in December sounds like fun, but having pneumonia for the next two weeks is not so great. What would make them happy? Watching TV all day, never taking naps, going to bed at any hour they choose, and the list goes on. As their parent, I know why all of those decisions would have disastrous effects on them, resulting in some decidedly unhappy children.

You see, I love my kids too much to listen to their unwise decisions and reply by saying, “I just want you to be happy.” Happiness is temporary and fleeting, a momentary pleasure. I would rather have my girls choose what makes them holy, because then their lives will be filled with lasting joy. 

As adults, we aren’t too far removed from a toddler mentality, and I include myself in this. Yes, having freedom to do what I want when I want would make me happy, but being a mom does not give me that luxury. I wouldn’t trade motherhood for all the shopping trips and massages in the world. For me, chasing the momentary happiness of freedom would result in an empty life with no lasting relationships.

The problem with making decisions that bring happiness in the moment, is, well, all of the other moments that follow. We want the immediate gratification, but not the residual effects of that choice which follow for years and sometimes decades. 

For this reason, God never says in the Bible, “I just want you to be happy.” 

“I knew it!” you might be thinking, “God doesn’t want me to be happy.”

That isn’t the truth at all! 

God created us to be in relationship with Him, which brings us unspeakable joy. But when sin enters the scene in the Garden of Eden, it brings with it guilt, shame, regret, pain, loss, and ultimately a void which we frantically try to fill with all of the things that will make us happy. The problem is, the only thing that will ever satisfy that hunger for happiness is the original joy that we lost- a deep, personal communion with our Creator.

And so all of our lives, we live in a tension of trying to “find ourselves” and “be true to who we are” and “do you” so that we can be happy. We make decisions that will give us a temporary high, a false reflection of true satisfaction, and then we end up disillusioned with the even deeper emptiness that follows. 

God loves us too much to let us settle for anything less than real, fulfilling joy. The whole reason we celebrate Christmas is that God loves us so much that He sent His Son into our context to make a way for us to reestablish our relationship with God and quench our souls’ thirst for happiness. 

God wants us to be truly, deeply happy. And He loves us too much to let us insert our short-sighted opinion about how to achieve it. 

In the same way that I ask my children to trust my judgment and allow me to make decisions on their behalf that are for their good, we must have that same faith in God. We must believe that the commands in the Bible are designed to protect us from harm. We must accept that He has good plans for us. We must acknowledge that our greatest happiness can be found in Him alone.

In order to be happy, we must surrender to Christ and commit to being holy. Contrary to everything our culture praises, obedience and submission are the choices that lead to happiness.

Now that I have stomped all over my own toes, I pray that we have the courage to trust God and follow Him into uncomfortable decisions that will result in life, and life in abundance!