The Dichotomy of Motherhood: A Perfect Mix of Zoo Trips and Laundry
My husbands asks as he is headed to work, “What are your plans for today?” I know his intentions are pure, but some days it feels like a loaded question.
This season is so unique. I have the absolute joy of waking up each day and getting to decide what fun experience I will share with my girls. Will we go to the zoo and illegally sneak cheerios to our favorite llama? Will we go to the splash pad at the park, feed the ducks at the neighborhood pond, or sing songs and do a craft at the library? Maybe we will pull out all of the art supplies and create something unidentifiable which I am obviously supposed to recognize as that bug we found in the garden last week. I never know what to expect, and every day is an adventure just waiting to unfold.
However, that isn’t the only thing unfolding. Yes, I’m talking about laundry. Mountains of laundry that reappear as quickly as I can excavate them. And there are three meals to make, which at least one child is refusing to eat at any given time. There is food to be cleaned up. Food that has been dumped on the floor, smeared across the table, and smashed into hair. Then the dishes from each of the meals, which have to be loaded, washed, and unloaded, only to be dirtied once more. Toys to be picked up before being taken out again. Floors to be vacuumed before being tracked with little footprints all over. There are baths to be given, hair and teeth to be brushed, clothes to be put on, only to do it all again after they decide that paint is more exciting on their bodies than the art paper.
Motherhood is a predictable routine of continually repetitive tasks.
And...
Motherhood is an unpredictable adventure of new and unexpected challenges.
Even though these two statements are completely opposite, I think that together they describe my current season of motherhood fairly accurately. There is a lot to do, and a lot to discover. It is fresh and new, each day an ever-changing experience, intermingled with the mundane, cyclical tasks that must be forever done and redone.
The more I think about it, the more I realize that this strange, polarizing effect of motherhood is a brilliant design by our heavenly Father for two reasons.
The first is that it strategically makes us feel insane so that we realize how much we need Him. Many days, I get in over my head on our field trips. The girls get fussy, one has a tantrum in the middle of the pet store when she can’t claw her way into the guinea pig display, a goose bites my daughter’s hand at the zoo, or one goes on a tear through the library and pulls all of the books off the shelves. There is a fine line between adventure and disaster, and I willingly straddle that line every day. That choice regularly puts me in a position to remember how much I need God. I cry out to Him in those moments when I am clearly not in control, and I have to concede that He alone is.
Interestingly enough, the mundane side of motherhood makes me depend on Him just as much. When my daughter knocks over my pile of neatly folded clothes, I have to say a quick prayer to not lose my marbles. When the dishes seem to materialize as quickly as I can wash them, I have to ask God for patient perseverance. The thoughts and attitudes of my heart that are revealed in these repetitive tasks tell me more about where I need to grow than anything else. They cook out all the fat until the only thing left is the meat of what I still need to submit to God.
The second reason that these two opposite angles on motherhood are a perfect design by God is that it keeps us sane. Yes, I realize this is exactly the opposite of the first reason. I think I’m seeing a trend. I love the exploration side of motherhood of engaging my children in learning and fun, but I’ll be honest, all of that gallivanting about can be really exhausting. I’m so grateful to have something mechanical like laundry or dishes to resort to when I hit my limit of dancing in the kitchen to the Trolls soundtrack. And the same is true of the repetitive tasks. After a while of checking chores off of the to-do list, I’m happy to know that the end of nap time will bring another round of chase and pillow forts. What a beautiful balance of highs and lows God has built in to motherhood! When we are keeping our eyes on Him, and leaning on Him for our strength in all of it, we get to see the beauty and purpose in each moment, even while admitting its challenges.
The exact experience that we see from a negative perspective, can become a positive one when surrendered to God in humility.